December 13, 2002 Sick (Or Possibly Just Close Minded)

Why do some people get sick so often? I see them snuffling through their whole lives, it's pathetic. What's most pathetic of course is that I'm one of them. Sniff sniff. I fell in a lake one winter when I was a kid and I've had a cold ever since, my virus-infested life held together only by canned soup, cold-eeze and sweeeeet love, with the occasional respite during which I rush to the vocal mic, sing my throat sore and go snuffling back home.

A good friend of mine says I get sick because I cook my food. He himself never gets sick because he eats only raw food — specifically raw meat and unpasteurized milk. I've watched him eat this stuff, I'm telling you it's astounding: he buys a hunk of raw chuck meat just like everyone else, but then he unwraps it like a chocolate bar and pops it in his mouth. And then, aaaaahhhhhhhhh, a nice swig of warm unpasteurized milk. Me, I can't make that leap of faith, it freaks me out — remember studying raw meat under a microscope in seventh grade, seeing all the little bugs and worms and whatnot all having sex on it? Yiiikes. No no, none for me thanks! I like to kill my food, kill it with a vengeance, burn it to a smoking crisp and then whale on it with a big sterilized cleaver. Yes sir, (cough cough), I'm now slurping burning hot soup that was cooked over my favorite old invention, FIRE. Could it really be bad for me? Maybe so. A stubborn traditionalist, that's me.